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:iconzika-senji: More from Zika-Senji


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Submitted on
April 18, 2012
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It is sad that you're not
the person I used to know, or
the one I remember from so long ago.

A stranger with a pretty face,
and guitar for a best friend.
I see you everyday but that doesn't
mean I have a clue who you are.
No longer the person to clutch
when my fears came true.


So my heart has pushed you
away, after you left me in
the cold.
But I've got eyes for another-
another beautiful stranger.

And this feeling that has blossomed,
strumming my heartstrings, a new melody.
How do I breathe? If nothing else,
I won't let this one slip away.


I love the word 'heartstrings' it's just sounds very pretty, or extremely morbid. :3
:iconcommonstrosity:
Heartstrings is a gorgeous word, you use it well (: I like the title of this and the first and last stanzas ar especially strong. THe last lines of the second stanza have a really nice sound and a powerful image. One suggestion - when you mention the guitar, and then go on to mention heartstrings, I connected the two. What do you think about using 'plucking' or 'strumming' instead of 'tugging' in the last stanza? I think it would really round the piece off. Nice work (:
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:iconzika-senji:
Zika-Senji May 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! I really appreciate the feedback! I think I'll make that change from "tugging" to "strumming"
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:iconcommonstrosity:
It's not a problem, love! Glad I could help (:
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